Lists are a funny thing. Its our way of really organizing our thoughts and putting them in an order that makes it easier on us. we literally make lists for everything, for groceries, books, friends, invites, homework, literally EVERYTHING.
being a girl, i have one list that of course is more important that any of the other lists. every girl has this list and any girl who tells you she doesnt is a HUUGE LIAR!! i introduce to you...the boy list! no! not a list of boys i have been with, but a list of what i find attractive in a member of the opposite sex. my list has changed drastically throughout the years, and with good reason or else i would still want a guy identical to Howie from the Backstreet Boys. although some things on my list has changed, there are three things that will never change...
1. Humor: a boy must have a sense of humor, and i mean be able to laugh things off and make me laugh. i mean, dont u hate it when you are trying to be funny with someone and they just don't get what you are talking about or they get mad because they don't understand your humor? it sucks. its liek man, why am i even trying!? so, i need a boy with a good sense of humor, who can laugh at life and not take things so seriously.
2. Music ability: now, im not saying you have to be mozart or anything, i just happen to find guys that are musicians attractive. now, this DOES NOT mean that all musicians are hot, because they are not, but when i like a boy and he happens to be a musician it makes things so much better. being a musician myself its nice to have someone who understand what the crap i am talking about and will listen to awesome music with me.
3. Charisma: i need a boy with a dang personality! you guys have no idea how many dates i have been on where a guy does not really talk or their personality is just dead! i mean seriously! i didn't think one dimensional people existed! people like this bore me to death and just drive me away, so i like boys who can get along with my friends and like to have fun because Lord knows i am always down for fun!
Looks arent of much important to me, because i don't have a clear definition of what i think "HOT" is. for example, i think michael cera is hot, but i think pit bull is hot too. i think aaron gillispie is hot, but so is lil wayne. my taste pretty much varies, but i think my perfect boy would be a cross between aaron gillespie, michael cera, and pit bull. LOL. wierd right. i do want a latin boy, just because they will udnerstand me better since i am latin and PROUD OF IT! WOOP WOOP! but if a boy is missing one of those three thing mentioned above, it def will NOT work! so im praying, JESUS, send me my michael cera/aaron gillispie/pitbull/ with a hint of seth rogen. :)) if any of you know him, send him my way! lol
in other news, im in the process of wanting to consider thinking about maybe starting a band. lol. Luis and the Ruckers is what its gonna be called. but we still have to tell Luis. hahahhaha. updates soon.
cupid. sucks. anus.
A.A.K Trouble
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Brain Spillage #13: Ax Murderers?
so, i recently came into a large sum of money, and let me tell you, it is driving me absolutely bonkers! i have to basically talk myself out of buying every little thing i want. needless to say, i want to go shopping and blow it all on shoes and clothes and HAIR BOWS...BUT i musnt! i must control myself and carry on.
in other news, i have also begun to try to figure out my dreams. i have this one reoccuring dream that goes like this...
(just a little bit of background: i have a history of sleepwalking, the first time being when i was about 8, and the last time being about a week ago. its important for you to know that having someone break into my house in the middle of the night is one of my worst nightmares. also, my sister is currently living in my house and she sleeps on the couch which is next to the bathroom.)
so.......my dream begins as im laying down on my bed. i get up at 3am to go to the bathroom, which is fairly common as i do this every night. while im in the bathroom, i leave the door partially open because i am too lazy to turn on the light and im half asleep. then i start to hear some footsteps. thinking its my sister, i call out her name, but instead of hearing a response, i hear the footsteps come closer. i slowly walk out to the living room to find a tall man wearing a gas mask and combat boots and holding an axe in his hand. Hes sort of peering over my sister but shes dead asleep. i freak out and run back in the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. he then starts to chop the door down with his axe and im cowering in the corner of the bathroom. as soon as he gets through the door, i wake up.
the weird thing is, when i wake up, im nto always scared. sometimes i wake up really mad. and almost everytime ive had that dream, ive woken up in some position other than my usual sleeping position, like sitting up on my bed, or sitting on the floor or standing in front of my closet. i think its pretty wierd.
in one of my classes we have been studying dreams and what they might mean. ive been tryint o figure out ym dream, but every explaination ive come up with or any explanation ive gotten from someone else doesnt make sense to me. so my teacher encouraged me to do this next time i have this dream. i am supposed to walk up to the ax killer and ask him what he wants. maybe that will explain why i keep having those dreams. this all seems pretty crazy right, to try to change your dreams. but think about it. think about the dreams you have had and how they may be significant to your life.
dreams are creepy stuff!
peace. gum. and jawbreakers.
A.A.K.
in other news, i have also begun to try to figure out my dreams. i have this one reoccuring dream that goes like this...
(just a little bit of background: i have a history of sleepwalking, the first time being when i was about 8, and the last time being about a week ago. its important for you to know that having someone break into my house in the middle of the night is one of my worst nightmares. also, my sister is currently living in my house and she sleeps on the couch which is next to the bathroom.)
so.......my dream begins as im laying down on my bed. i get up at 3am to go to the bathroom, which is fairly common as i do this every night. while im in the bathroom, i leave the door partially open because i am too lazy to turn on the light and im half asleep. then i start to hear some footsteps. thinking its my sister, i call out her name, but instead of hearing a response, i hear the footsteps come closer. i slowly walk out to the living room to find a tall man wearing a gas mask and combat boots and holding an axe in his hand. Hes sort of peering over my sister but shes dead asleep. i freak out and run back in the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. he then starts to chop the door down with his axe and im cowering in the corner of the bathroom. as soon as he gets through the door, i wake up.
the weird thing is, when i wake up, im nto always scared. sometimes i wake up really mad. and almost everytime ive had that dream, ive woken up in some position other than my usual sleeping position, like sitting up on my bed, or sitting on the floor or standing in front of my closet. i think its pretty wierd.
in one of my classes we have been studying dreams and what they might mean. ive been tryint o figure out ym dream, but every explaination ive come up with or any explanation ive gotten from someone else doesnt make sense to me. so my teacher encouraged me to do this next time i have this dream. i am supposed to walk up to the ax killer and ask him what he wants. maybe that will explain why i keep having those dreams. this all seems pretty crazy right, to try to change your dreams. but think about it. think about the dreams you have had and how they may be significant to your life.
dreams are creepy stuff!
peace. gum. and jawbreakers.
A.A.K.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Brain Spillage #12: More?
Don't you feel sometimes like there has to be more?
i mean, that seems liek such a general question, but so often we get swept up in our lives, our drama, our friends, our problems to really worry about anything else. I have become very good at that. i easily become consumed with school, work, my social life, and the future. but today, while twiddling my thumbs at work, i started thinking. actually, i was looking at a cupcake when i started thinking. hahahaha
if you have ever had sprinkles cupcakes you would know that i absolutely LOOOVE them, but today instead of getting my usual red velvet, i got coconut cupcakes for the whole office. i had mine on a plate, and if you have ever seen a sprinkles coconut cupcake it is COVERED in little coconut shavings. there must be about a million little shaving on there. and i i was like, man, im probably like one of those little shavings in comparison to everyone in redwood city. and this is just my city, imagine how little and insignificant i become when compared to the rest of the world population. its pretty crazy. i dont really know what got me thinking about it...maybe i fell asleep listening to the news on the radio or something, but really, there is so much going on. theres more to life than just us.
challenge for the weekend: its valentines day weekend, but more importantly its about love. not just stupid infatuation with another person, but showing real love. so this weekend, do something nice for someone else. buy a homeless guy a happy meal, pass chocolates out on the street, or simply treat your parents to breakfast.
the more love we put into the world, the happier of a place we will live in. love is like polio and malaria, they spread fast and sometimes make you feel oober wierd, but it changes you and kills the old grumpy you making room for a loving caring person. :) do the deed!
coconuts. people. and malaria :)
A.K.K.
i mean, that seems liek such a general question, but so often we get swept up in our lives, our drama, our friends, our problems to really worry about anything else. I have become very good at that. i easily become consumed with school, work, my social life, and the future. but today, while twiddling my thumbs at work, i started thinking. actually, i was looking at a cupcake when i started thinking. hahahaha
if you have ever had sprinkles cupcakes you would know that i absolutely LOOOVE them, but today instead of getting my usual red velvet, i got coconut cupcakes for the whole office. i had mine on a plate, and if you have ever seen a sprinkles coconut cupcake it is COVERED in little coconut shavings. there must be about a million little shaving on there. and i i was like, man, im probably like one of those little shavings in comparison to everyone in redwood city. and this is just my city, imagine how little and insignificant i become when compared to the rest of the world population. its pretty crazy. i dont really know what got me thinking about it...maybe i fell asleep listening to the news on the radio or something, but really, there is so much going on. theres more to life than just us.
challenge for the weekend: its valentines day weekend, but more importantly its about love. not just stupid infatuation with another person, but showing real love. so this weekend, do something nice for someone else. buy a homeless guy a happy meal, pass chocolates out on the street, or simply treat your parents to breakfast.
the more love we put into the world, the happier of a place we will live in. love is like polio and malaria, they spread fast and sometimes make you feel oober wierd, but it changes you and kills the old grumpy you making room for a loving caring person. :) do the deed!
coconuts. people. and malaria :)
A.K.K.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Brain Spillage #11: Pelo
Pelo. Hair. Yuck. lol
i have been blessed (more like cursed) with such strange hair. for those of you who don't know, i am a natural original one-of-a-kind freak or nature salvadorian RED HEAD! i know! weird right! every time i tell people i am a redhead, they completely flip and don't believe me! luck for me, my roots always grow faster than my hair lady can keep up with and if u are lucky enough you can see my red hair looking red and flaming next to my jet black hair. its kind of cool liking, but def annoying sometimes.
its sort of peculiar because it seems everyone in my family has a weird trait. (please note my only family is my mom, dad, sister 1, sister 2, and cousin evelyn). for example, my dad has dimples! im pretty sure they are dimples and not laugh lines. my mom has super white skin, like whiter than a white person! she actually sunburns daily during the summertime. oldest sister has jet black hair, naturally (that scumbag! lol), and sister 2 had green eyes. now what do i get stuck with....RED HAIR! it's like, really?? is that really what i needed to get. it seems a little, i dont know, RIDICULOUS!!! but its ok, theres hair dye for a reason, riiiiight?
i currently like my dye job, and as you may know, i go through hair colors faster than a pimp goes through hoes! lol. let see there was....
natural and blond
purple
black
red and blond
black and blue
blue black
jet black
burgandy
red
orange
brown
dark brown
chocolate brown
and now black and blond
its been a journey, and my hair has suffered, and im pretty sure i have less scalp than most people, but it has been totally worth it! i mean, it takes a sacrifice to be this awesome sometimes! :D
well, i must get back to work, which today is consisting of making 35 copies of a 200 page book. so it should def be fun...NOT!
love you all..
A.A.K.
i have been blessed (more like cursed) with such strange hair. for those of you who don't know, i am a natural original one-of-a-kind freak or nature salvadorian RED HEAD! i know! weird right! every time i tell people i am a redhead, they completely flip and don't believe me! luck for me, my roots always grow faster than my hair lady can keep up with and if u are lucky enough you can see my red hair looking red and flaming next to my jet black hair. its kind of cool liking, but def annoying sometimes.
its sort of peculiar because it seems everyone in my family has a weird trait. (please note my only family is my mom, dad, sister 1, sister 2, and cousin evelyn). for example, my dad has dimples! im pretty sure they are dimples and not laugh lines. my mom has super white skin, like whiter than a white person! she actually sunburns daily during the summertime. oldest sister has jet black hair, naturally (that scumbag! lol), and sister 2 had green eyes. now what do i get stuck with....RED HAIR! it's like, really?? is that really what i needed to get. it seems a little, i dont know, RIDICULOUS!!! but its ok, theres hair dye for a reason, riiiiight?
i currently like my dye job, and as you may know, i go through hair colors faster than a pimp goes through hoes! lol. let see there was....
natural and blond
purple
black
red and blond
black and blue
blue black
jet black
burgandy
red
orange
brown
dark brown
chocolate brown
and now black and blond
its been a journey, and my hair has suffered, and im pretty sure i have less scalp than most people, but it has been totally worth it! i mean, it takes a sacrifice to be this awesome sometimes! :D
well, i must get back to work, which today is consisting of making 35 copies of a 200 page book. so it should def be fun...NOT!
love you all..
A.A.K.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Brain Spillage #10: THROWBACK!
i have to admit, i love those moments where i run across something i did (a painting, a sculpture, or a poem) a long time ago, and i realize, man, its good to know i have been awesome for a long time! i had one of those moments yesterday while going through my old things on myspace. i found a blog i had written about a year ago and let me tell you, wow! i did a really good job of putting my thoughts into words, so here it is..
"All right everyone, I'm usually not the kind of person to come and write my feelings in a blog unless it is something important. As some of you may know, I recently got my septum pierced. To me, it has not been a big deal because it was something i want to do and didn't see anything wrong with. I got the blessing from my dad to do it and so i did it. Now that it is done, there are many people trying to tell me that what i am doing is wrong and that it is 'unholy.' i have even had people straight up tell me I wanted it for attention or manipulation or even that i got it because i was rejecting God and following my flesh. It's funny how people throw that out there and they say the works of the flesh are anything different than what they are used to. Wearing makeup is condoning self-loathing and vanity, so is make up a work of the flesh? Dyeing your hair is changing your appearance, and thus rejecting God's original creation, so is this a work of the flesh? Wearing high heels make you appear taller, or wearing the colors red and blue that have negative connotation, are these works of the flesh? who is to say that what someone does is sin or not? Sin is not something we do, is something we accept, just as being Christian isn't something we do, its something we are. I'm really frustrated because the people who are making the biggest deal out of it are people closest to me and people i once admired.
How can people be so close-minded? How can someone who serves a loving, caring God be so quick to jump to conclusions and condemn? 1 Peter 4:8 says, "ABOVE ALL, LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY, FOR LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS," how are we expected to love people who need God when we can't love our brothers and sisters in Christ? How can we show the love of the living God when we ourselves are so ignorant and already have an idea of what that is supposed to look like? I have met incredible men and women of God, people who have denied themselves completely to serve God, people who have learned that while the "church" is still arguing over tattoos and piercings that there are people in world DYING everyday without the gospel. And more than that, there are people in the world the church is rejecting because they are so different!!! When will they get saved? when will the guy covered in tattoos get saved? Maybe when the church stops worrying so much about appearances and more on character and what's inside!
Just how i have met incredible people, i have also met people who look prim and proper on the outside, who look like the ideal Christian, who carry their Bibles everywhere, and wear Sunday best clothes everyday. They know all the right Bible verses and when to raise their hands in church and what to say to bring a congregation to tears, but inside of them lies a character so weak that can so easily be swayed, people who know don;t really know God, but only know what they have been taught. In the New Testament, it talks about the early church and how they were being persecuted by the Roman Empire. It goes on saying in Acts that they met together in fellowship, the breaking of bread, and prayer. And God added to their number DAILY. Not 2 young people a year or every 3 months. but DAILY! so, what are we doing wrong here?
God and being a Christian is so much more that what we think and what we have been taught. Then we ask ourselves why our youth groups aren't growing or why the church is only reaching 4% of the youth in out nation! Maybe we need to stop following the rules and start following Jesus. I know when i get to heaven, God isn't going to ask me, 'Hey, how many holes do you have on your face? or 'How many tattoos do you have?' or even 'How many rules did you follow?' He's simply going to ask me, 'HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TELL ABOUT ME?' That is my mission. That is my goal. To share with everyone the God who saved my life, the God who took me out of depression and suicide and brought me into His love. The God who uses IMPERFECT PEOPLE, like Jacob who always lied, or Sampson who disobeyed him, or David who gave into his lusts. As long as i love God and bring other to know His amazing love, I know I am doing what i am supposed to be doing. Everything else is beside the point."
A.K.K.
"All right everyone, I'm usually not the kind of person to come and write my feelings in a blog unless it is something important. As some of you may know, I recently got my septum pierced. To me, it has not been a big deal because it was something i want to do and didn't see anything wrong with. I got the blessing from my dad to do it and so i did it. Now that it is done, there are many people trying to tell me that what i am doing is wrong and that it is 'unholy.' i have even had people straight up tell me I wanted it for attention or manipulation or even that i got it because i was rejecting God and following my flesh. It's funny how people throw that out there and they say the works of the flesh are anything different than what they are used to. Wearing makeup is condoning self-loathing and vanity, so is make up a work of the flesh? Dyeing your hair is changing your appearance, and thus rejecting God's original creation, so is this a work of the flesh? Wearing high heels make you appear taller, or wearing the colors red and blue that have negative connotation, are these works of the flesh? who is to say that what someone does is sin or not? Sin is not something we do, is something we accept, just as being Christian isn't something we do, its something we are. I'm really frustrated because the people who are making the biggest deal out of it are people closest to me and people i once admired.
How can people be so close-minded? How can someone who serves a loving, caring God be so quick to jump to conclusions and condemn? 1 Peter 4:8 says, "ABOVE ALL, LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY, FOR LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SINS," how are we expected to love people who need God when we can't love our brothers and sisters in Christ? How can we show the love of the living God when we ourselves are so ignorant and already have an idea of what that is supposed to look like? I have met incredible men and women of God, people who have denied themselves completely to serve God, people who have learned that while the "church" is still arguing over tattoos and piercings that there are people in world DYING everyday without the gospel. And more than that, there are people in the world the church is rejecting because they are so different!!! When will they get saved? when will the guy covered in tattoos get saved? Maybe when the church stops worrying so much about appearances and more on character and what's inside!
Just how i have met incredible people, i have also met people who look prim and proper on the outside, who look like the ideal Christian, who carry their Bibles everywhere, and wear Sunday best clothes everyday. They know all the right Bible verses and when to raise their hands in church and what to say to bring a congregation to tears, but inside of them lies a character so weak that can so easily be swayed, people who know don;t really know God, but only know what they have been taught. In the New Testament, it talks about the early church and how they were being persecuted by the Roman Empire. It goes on saying in Acts that they met together in fellowship, the breaking of bread, and prayer. And God added to their number DAILY. Not 2 young people a year or every 3 months. but DAILY! so, what are we doing wrong here?
God and being a Christian is so much more that what we think and what we have been taught. Then we ask ourselves why our youth groups aren't growing or why the church is only reaching 4% of the youth in out nation! Maybe we need to stop following the rules and start following Jesus. I know when i get to heaven, God isn't going to ask me, 'Hey, how many holes do you have on your face? or 'How many tattoos do you have?' or even 'How many rules did you follow?' He's simply going to ask me, 'HOW MANY PEOPLE DID YOU TELL ABOUT ME?' That is my mission. That is my goal. To share with everyone the God who saved my life, the God who took me out of depression and suicide and brought me into His love. The God who uses IMPERFECT PEOPLE, like Jacob who always lied, or Sampson who disobeyed him, or David who gave into his lusts. As long as i love God and bring other to know His amazing love, I know I am doing what i am supposed to be doing. Everything else is beside the point."
A.K.K.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Brain Spillage #9: Musical Theoriess
singing. i love singing. but i am an absolute goob and get awful stagefright! when surrounded with the right people though, it can feel magical and i cant help but singing.
Lately, dealing with school stress, family stress, and personal life stress, i struggle to find things that will get me through and keep my anxiety levels down (bc if they go up too high bad things happen lol). So here are a few things ive been doing to keep myself level....
1. Dieting: being in the constant mindset of eating healthy comsumes a lot of your brainpower! once you get used to eating whatever you want, it hard to restrict yourself, so focusing on this helps keep me level.
2. Working out: now, im not a health freak or obssesed with the way i look, i happen to love myself (unlike SOO many people). working out sort of releases stress, and for me it helps me take out my anger on something productive instead of on other people or myself. plus..im trying to get into shape so i can go out for roller derby this summer!
3. Singing and Music: this is a BIG one for me. theres sucha deep connection that happens when you sing something with the emotions you are feeling. you connect with the music on such a deep level, it surprises me sometimes because ill just start crying sometimes while im singing. lately, its been "We Are Broken" (LIVE) by Paramore. the live version has so much emotion and it great to sing when things maybe arent going as planned. Music also is awesome. i spend sooo much money on music it is ridiculous! lol.
3. Coloring or DIY: this is such a stress reliever because you dont have to think about anything else outside of where you are coloring of where you are sewing or what you are putting together. i used to take ceramics in high school and i dont know if i would have survived if i didnt.
4. Lastly (but not least!!!) JESUS!: His love is really all i need. That brings me comfort like nothing else.
this blog isnt going to be very long, but i do encourage you to find those couple of things that level you out and make life a little easier to bear. its gonna be different for everyone, like my friend likes to do her makeup in different ways or try different hairstyles. my cousin does softball. so find that thing for you and share it. you will be surprised to find that there are many people who never express themseleves and have all their emotions bottled up. lets help the world be a little less stressed!
peace. love. happiness. red velvet cupcakes.
A.A.K
Lately, dealing with school stress, family stress, and personal life stress, i struggle to find things that will get me through and keep my anxiety levels down (bc if they go up too high bad things happen lol). So here are a few things ive been doing to keep myself level....
1. Dieting: being in the constant mindset of eating healthy comsumes a lot of your brainpower! once you get used to eating whatever you want, it hard to restrict yourself, so focusing on this helps keep me level.
2. Working out: now, im not a health freak or obssesed with the way i look, i happen to love myself (unlike SOO many people). working out sort of releases stress, and for me it helps me take out my anger on something productive instead of on other people or myself. plus..im trying to get into shape so i can go out for roller derby this summer!
3. Singing and Music: this is a BIG one for me. theres sucha deep connection that happens when you sing something with the emotions you are feeling. you connect with the music on such a deep level, it surprises me sometimes because ill just start crying sometimes while im singing. lately, its been "We Are Broken" (LIVE) by Paramore. the live version has so much emotion and it great to sing when things maybe arent going as planned. Music also is awesome. i spend sooo much money on music it is ridiculous! lol.
3. Coloring or DIY: this is such a stress reliever because you dont have to think about anything else outside of where you are coloring of where you are sewing or what you are putting together. i used to take ceramics in high school and i dont know if i would have survived if i didnt.
4. Lastly (but not least!!!) JESUS!: His love is really all i need. That brings me comfort like nothing else.
this blog isnt going to be very long, but i do encourage you to find those couple of things that level you out and make life a little easier to bear. its gonna be different for everyone, like my friend likes to do her makeup in different ways or try different hairstyles. my cousin does softball. so find that thing for you and share it. you will be surprised to find that there are many people who never express themseleves and have all their emotions bottled up. lets help the world be a little less stressed!
peace. love. happiness. red velvet cupcakes.
A.A.K
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